Magnus Chase in the Belly of the Beast
by GreyCupcake
Summary: Magnus and Alex get kidnapped by Thor to witness the defeat of his greatest enemy. A battle that should be easily handled by Thor. Or so he claims. When they get overwhelmed, because of course they do, how will Alex and Magnus escape from the belly of the great beast? that may be the premise but honestly just this was just an excuse to write a campy fierrochase story


**Chapter 1**

Lighting follows thunder, Magnus follows sleepily

Most people wake up to an alarm clock, today I woke up to the God of Thunder shaking me awake. The real miracle was me not waking up when he shattered my door with what he claimed was a single knock.

"Today is the day Magnus Chase!" his voice shattering every last hope of sleep from my mind. Today was starting to be another one of those days. It couldn't be the type of day where you sit back on the balcony of Chase Space sipping watching the world go by or the type of day where I finally catch up on my Pottery to the Death classes. With the horrible dream I had last night and with my usual luck I knew today was going to be filled with danger and probable death Because today wasn't Friday the thirteenth, it was worse. Today just had to be Thors' day.

By now a reasonable sane person would have a bunch of questions: 'Thor knows who you are?', 'What kind of place offers Pottery to the Death?', 'Are you superstitious THAT about your dreams?' and 'Did you mean Thursday?' To which I would have to say yes, yes and no. Today was actually a Saturday which made me even more sad I was going to be spending it with Thor the Norse God of Thunder and farts. I know you probably have an image of a handsome picturesque Thor in your head right now. You need to slightly adjust it so instead of a blonde, Shakespeare in the park, Hollywood actor, just change that to a grubby, huge but still slightly chubby, frat boy. And sure, maybe he's not the God of Farts but he deserves it to be in his title at least.

According to Thor, today was the perfect day to adventure. Out of all of the Einheri (rhymes with "in hairy", one of Odin's chosen to fight on his side in Ragnarök), why did he want me to adventure with him?

"You should feel honored you are coming with my on my Hunt today Freyson! Your presence would be most appreciated" His voice echoing through the halls. Stumbling through Hotel Valhalla with a Gods' hand on my back should seem reassuring but there were too many envious eyes. Everyone knew I wasn't the best swordsman, archer, axe thrower, or good at any type of fighting really. It was times like this I wish my powers were invisibility or maybe even shapeshifting instead. Being the son of Frey, God of Summer had its benefits though. I am mostly heat proof, I can regenerate my injuries faster than most and can help my friends heal from potentially mortal blows. Although if the wound is really bad it comes at a cost to my health and mortality. Something I'm not too afraid of, as long as I stay in Hotel Valhalla.

As an Einheri, my friends and I are technically immortal so long as we remained inside the Hotel. Meaning if we were to fall in training, in our classes, or just because we literally fell on a misplaced spear, we would wake up fully alive and renewed within an hour or two. Depending on how we died of course. One time I was thrown off of the 200th floor in the hotel and people were using me for target practice on the way down. Needless to say, that recovery time was a bit longer.

I wish I could say I had Thors' energy, but I was running on pure fear and adrenaline since I got out of bed. Not to mention my bad dream was still haunting me.

"I do feel honored, I really do Thor. It's just I had- "

"A plan on how to kill the beast? No need! I have everything figured out and what I'll need you to do is witness me! You'll be telling the story of how I killed the greatest foe for decades here! Everyone would love to hear about the time you helped me destroy one of my deadliest and most feared enemy."

As I was worried about the identity of who Thor meant, I could feel something akin to having daggers inches away from my back. The residents of Hotel Valhalla looked like they would rather eat a mountain of Jell-O then see their favorite God walk through their halls taking someone else on an adventure of this importance. Part of me wanted to shout to everyone 'Oh no its probably a problem with Otis his talking goat and Thor is just being nice to my ego.' Everyone would laugh, I wouldn't feel like I was going to die of embarrassment, everyone wins!

But I didn't. So here I was, trying desperately to comb my unruly blond hair with my hand while at the same time making sure my pajama bottoms stayed up. I never was very self-conscious about my appearance when I was alive. But with Thor himself taking me as his most trusted companion on a journey to destroy his greatest foe. It was a quest people here would literally die a thousand times for.

Which made me so paranoid. Why was he taking me? I knew for a fact that some of the people who lived on the floor we were walking through were actually the sons and daughters of Thor. It's not like Thor forgot about them either. Every couple of minutes we would stop and talk to some grisly warrior and they would have a chat about how there were doing, recent feats of strength they accomplished. Maybe it was a family thing but when they looked at me, their eyes always looked like there was a violent and raging storm behind their gaze. I hoped it was a family thing.

"Hey Thor," I started to say as we left Erik son of Thor, slayer of Gudbrand the Ruthless and probably a bunch of other titles, "Why don't you take Erik on your quest? He seems way more qualified to help you in battle."

"Yes! Erik would be a powerful ally. But no." Thor answered. Which really confused me.

"What about the Aesir strike force?" I asked remembering the strike team that Thor sent to make sure Loki didn't escape, "Heimdall and Vidar. Why not bring them along?"

"They are buys with other affairs and they would try to convince me not to go. And I need you because I need you Magnus."

I guess that was as true as a statement could be. Looking in his eyes I saw the same storm that I saw in his children so I guess that meant the end of the discussion. Now I knew something was wrong. What I could do about it though?

If you were walking through the Halls of the Valhalla hotel you would understand the term rapid expansion. Over the millennia the hotel staff would build new additions to the hotel. What was once just a large dining hall now sprawled out to a labyrinth of commodities. You could take the elevator down to the gym and that would lead to the swimming pool. Which if you took the path by the empty lifeguard stand (if anyone drowned, they would come back so why bother?) that would lead to the basketball to the death court (don't ask, everything is to the death here). And then if you took a wrong turn lead to where they keep all the explosives. It all sort of melted together and getting lost came naturally. It didn't occur to me though that Thor would be as lost as I was until we passed by the Pool again.

"hmm" Thor hmm'd. I guess Thor was too busy with his duties to remember the layout of Hotel Valhalla. He looked at me as if I knew where I was going. That's when I heard a voice from beside us.

"You probably have the worst guide there Thor. You'd be better off with a TomTom or maybe just a really energetic dog." My heart skipped a step because I knew it could only be Alex. Here I was in my bunny slippers and comfy pj's and Alex just had to see me being pushed along by Thor. I turned to the source and as always, I was dumbstruck by the outfit. Alex was wearing a bright green sunhat with a sunflower tucked on top. You could still see the trademark green hair with dark roots. The familiar diamond patterned sleeveless shirt with a bright purple towel which somehow, he pulled off as always.

"Pronouns are He/him today. And with all due respect big guy the word "Argr" better not be coming out of your mouth" Alex was pretty sensitive about that, Argr was the Nordic word for unmanly or shapeshifter and even though he was a shapeshifter it bothered him. Alex was genderfluid and would switch genders without warning. If he was a male today, he didn't want to be called 'unmanly'. So, for the sake of keeping my head on my shoulders and because I really liked him, I would never say it.

"Of course not, great warrior Alex, I would never! If you wouldn't mind pointing us in the right way, me and my friend Magnus here have a date with destiny!"

"You two are going on a date?" Alex sneered. He had a very particular kind of smile in situations like this. His lip would curl up and twitch like he's laughing at a joke without laughing. Like he was trying to keep it to himself. It made me wish I could have been anywhere else. I could only imagine what was happening with my face. Based on the burning sensation, I'm guessing it was turning redder than a garden of roses. Thor seemed to managed better

"HAW HAH HAW" His laughter seemed to boom with an extra decibel around the pool. The echo going on for minutes after he stopped. Alex seemed to be enjoying himself though, as he almost sang

"Aw don't look so down Beantown, I'm sure you'll be fine with the Norse god of thunderous gas." He smiled as the joke sailed over Thor's head, "You two have fun! Oh, and don't worry, I won't be too jealous." My heart sank a few inches. I expected it, but still, I just wish he would come. Being alone with the God of thunderous gas would take all of my super charged Einheri strength and endurance to survive.

"I would be jealous if I were you brave Alex," Thor beamed down at me, "Me and Magnus here will have a tale for the ages! A battle that will give us scars and stories!" Thor bragged, sweeping his hand back and forth as if he was addressing the adoring crowds. It was so weird seeing a showboaty Thor. I was so used to his almost hermit like persona. Going on adventures with only his Midgar television (he really loved Game of Thrones) and goats. Alex didn't seem to notice though.

"Sounds like fun, wish I could come." Alex rhymed. What was with him and this sing-song attitude. Did he get cursed by a poetry monster or something? He kicked up his feet and seemed to relax an extra step even further. I learned about something called schadenfreude in German 101 (which didn't have as much death as most classes) which meant happiness at the misfortune of others. Maybe Alex learned to adopt it as a lifestyle choice rather than just another vocab word.

"HMmm" Thor Hmm'd inquisitively. It was so weird to see his brain at work. It wasn't because I didn't think he was smart. Everyone knew that Loki was the famous schemer and plotter of downfalls and jokes. Thor was the type of person to be so unconcerned his livelihood he would rather walk right into a giant's trap than to figure out a sensible plan. I just assumed he used the space up in his head for his favorite tv shows. But against every preconception I had of him, he was looking at Alex as though he was formulating a plan. Maybe even a scheme. Though I doubted it would end well.

"I shall grant such a wish! Come Alex, you shall guide us to the docks of Boston and join us on our quest!"

"Guide you what now? Huh?" But the time for argument was soon lost as the two of us were swiftly taken out of the pool area. Thor had 2 hands and he used them both to pick us up like tiny kittens.

"Wait a minute I need to get my gear!" Alex cried out, scrambling to hold up his pool towel and keep his hat on, "I can't go into battle wearing this!" Thor just kept marching. Carrying the two of us past a sign that said 'Floors 15-20'. I could distinctly hear the Game of Thrones theme song from Thor which made me believe that he had zero intention of listening to any protest. It seemed we were all distracted when we almost ran down the poor bellhop Hunding in an employee's lounge.

"OH Magnus! It is so good to see you!" Hunding shuffled some of the papers he was working on and tucked them away into his neat bellhop uniform. Hunding was a good guy with a poor job to be stuck in for an eternity. He helped me out whenever he could and I gave him chocolate and whatever else he would take. Hunding looked up at the god who was carrying me "Oh! It is good to see you too Lord Thor and good to see you as well Alex" It was really touching that even with the God of Thunder towering over me, Hunding said hi to me first. For the first time since I woke up, I felt properly respected.

"Good to see you too Hunding." I said, Thor pausing as if he didn't remember Hunding. Because he wasn't taking the initiative I asked, "We are trying to get to Boston, is there any way you give us some directions and possibly pass floor 19 on the way?"

Hunding swept his hand towards the end of the hall, "Of course, I can Magnus. It would be my honor to show you. This way please."

We went through a couple hallways and through a couple of doors I had never seen before until we found ourselves in a war-torn hallway. It was filled with broken light fixtures, bloody spears and broken axes. Probably not a hallway I would go down without a friend. Alex and I looked at each other as if we missed something important. As if reading our minds, Hunding simply groaned

"Floor 18 and 19 were battling over the new snack bar again. Not to disapprove of a good skirmish, but I just wish they wouldn't forget that I have to clean up after them. Maybe fight in the bouncy castle room where the ravens would clean it up."

I felt a pang of guilt as I realized that I not only missed an opportunity to fight alongside my floormates, but that Hunding was stuck with cleaning it all up. As we passed by my room, Alex somehow shot his hand out and grabbed onto his room's doorknob with a grip that would strangle most.  
"I _need _my stuff Thor" Alex almost begged. I couldn't tell if he was plotting something to get out of this but if he did, it probably wasn't a good idea to piss off a Norse god, especially Thor.

He sighed, "Very well, if you try any tricks like your father- "

"Mother" Alex retorted. Loki is gender fluid too don't-cha-know.

"Right." Thor stumbled, "Mother. Yes… Hmm. As I was saying-"

"I think he gets it Thor, no tricks" I interrupted. I would have looked almost confident if Thor wasn't holding me up by the back of my neck. Besides if Alex had a plan to avoid Thor's adventure, the less time Thor gets to think about it the better. Alex ran into his room leaving me with Thor and Hunding. I still felt bad for the bellhop. His dejected look at the bloody scene in the hallway did not inspire confidence.

I felt guilty that my floormates made such a horrible mess, but I felt even worse that I wasn't there to help them. Alex wasn't there either and it made me wonder why he was hanging out by the pool. I mean if we both missed the skirmish then he could have invited me. Not to say that we didn't spend enough time together after we saved the world by stopping Ragnarök for the nth time, but what can I say? I like Alex a lot. I want to spend time with him. I guess. Is that weird? Not Alex, or maybe he is, he loves to say how he's "fabulously weird" so me? I'm weird? But that's good?

Which why when Alex came out of his room clad in green and purple chainmail (probably designed by one of my best friends Blitzen), and holding his golden garrote (a gift from his mother Loki) my heart skipped a beat. I got a strange look from Alex when he came out as if he was judging me and my pajamas. But then before he could say anything Thor boomed his delight. I keep saying boomed because I don't really know how else to describe it. Maybe thundered? That's too on the nose, right? So, with lots of shouting he said,

"Very good!"

Thor dropped me onto my feet for the first time since we were at the pool and clapped my shoulder as if he was trying to break it. Which had me crash landing out of my meta breaking thoughts. "We sail immediately!", Thor announced to everyone in earshot which based on the volume level seemed to be the whole hotel, "To kill the Great Snake!"

Alex almost dropped his garrote, Hunding dropped at least 2 axes and a sword, I was lucky I only dropped my jaw.

I struggled to find the words "You can't possible mean"

The answer I was looking for felt so wrong. Like a crime against nature or more accurately a crime against Fate itself. He whispered to us but he might as well of shouted, "My friends, by the end of the day, we will have killed Jörmungandr, the world serpent."

**Chapter 2**

Stuck on a fishing trip with a god and a giant

If he didn't fart immediately after saying serpent, I would have thought that I had somehow met a more dignified version of Thor. However, the redheaded, red bearded, Metallica t-shirt wearing, smelly and now certifiably insane Norse God was dragging me and Alex through floor 19 talking about his plans to kill Jörmungandr. From what I remember of the story, Thor caught Jörmungandr and cut him loose, some people say he battled and killed the serpent right then and there. A story I wish was true, but one I knew wasn't after meeting the big snake myself a couple months ago. But thankfully he wasn't fully awake. According to the sea god Ran, if he was then Boston would have flooded and the Ragnarök would being. Which was another story of Thor and Jörmungandr that concerned me as I thought about it.

"Um, are you sure that we should be fighting Jörmungandr now? Shouldn't that only happen at Ragnarök?"

According to the stories, Thor was supposed to battle Jörmungandr at Ragnarök in the plains of Vigrid. A struggle that would distract Thor from helping his family and the other Aesir. A sad and tragic fate, but it was the fate of the end of the world so I guess there weren't too many people who would have a happy ending. Preventing Ragnarök was a complicated issue, on one hand it is what us Einherjar are here for. To wage war against the rise of the overwhelming tide of undead, to fight the fire giants as they burn through the planet. The best part is according to fate it's going to be a spectacular failure.

"That is the best part Magnus and the true reason I am bringing the two of you along with me. You have shown great power in disrupting the beginnings of Ragnarök. And while I hold no fear of my fate, I've had this plan for a while and with the two of you, it might succeed."

"Might? You pulled me out of a pool day for a possibility of success and an almost certain chance of a world ending catastrophe?" Alex clearly had his priorities straight.

"Even with the low possibility of success, I must take that risk to change our fate. To protect my family and this realm is my duty. Wouldn't you do the same for your friends Magnus?"

"But this isn't right Thor, challenging fate this way can't lead to anything good." I tried looking at Hunding for any kind of support, but it looked like he found the floor way more interesting than me.

"Come! Let's continue on our journey Hunding! Lead the way"

With feet that looked like they were made of lead, Hunding did indeed lead the way. The door to Midgard came faster than I thought was possible.

Alex seemed to get desperate "Don't we have to fill out paperwork before we leave? We really should Magnus. Back me up?"

All I could do in response was mumble something about needing a pen. Thor's eyes seemed to be looking past the doorway Boston, as if he could see the serpent right now.

"I'm sure we will take care of everything when we return!" Thor finally said.

The streets of Boston were of course bustling with foot traffic and tourists stopping every few feet to take pictures with a plaque. While it was only the beginning of spring, it felt a bit colder than most days of winter. I realized that was only because I was only wearing pajamas, a pair of bunny slippers (shut up) and a green Hotel Valhalla t-shirt.

"Oh wait. Jack!"

I clutched instinctively at my neck hoping that I remembered to bring my good friend and favorite magical singing sword Jack. Something I really needed on a dangerous quest. I must have forgotten to grab him when Thor rushed me out of bed. You would figure after months of drills, waking up and grabbing armor and weapons would be second nature to me by now. I guess I don't really have an excuse. But this was bad now.

"Uh Thor, can we go back into the hotel I need to grab my sword."

"There is no time! I have held back for too long and I shall not be made to wait any longer. I shall have this beasts head."

Alex gave me a concerned look like he was really worried about me. Which hey, he was worried. I just wish he had something confident to say like 'I'm sure Thor could beat this garden snake with a hand behind his back' instead all we could do is look worried. I hated it.

The sea of tourists seemed to part for Thor as we pushed along. Some looked up from their phones and glanced at us. What they thought of Thor walking in broad daylight I could only imagine. Most just held their noses as we passed which I guess was to be expected.

We passed by so many food trucks that my stomach started to audibly groan. Thor showed no signs of stopping though so I had to resign to starving. Alex looked at me like I couldn't be any more annoying. Its wasn't my fault that he was here.

The docks looked mostly abandoned as we arrived. Some fishermen were milling about but a familiar and the repulsive of Hymir slapped me right in the face as we came upon his fishing store. The giant peered from underneath his filthy fishing hat, covered in what I could only assume to be various baits he used. As soon as he saw the three of us, he started scrambling to leave.

"HYMIR my good friend!" Thor bellowed

Hymir looked back at us as if the word friend was alien to him. We had met on a previous expedition when me and my friend Samirah ventured out to attract the attention of Ran and bargain for one of her apples of immortality that she had caught in her net. It was there that I had first met Jörmungandr and I had sincerely hoped it would be the last time. Remembering the scale of the snake, how it seemed to stretch the sky as it raised itself from the sea. There was no fighting a beast of that scale. Hymir was with us at the time, cowering in the back of his rowboat. We were only able to escape by threatening Ran. Not a tactic I would want to use again. I've already pissed of her and her homicidal water goddess children.

"We're closed for the season sir" Hymir grumbled. There was even a sign to prove it.

I looked at Alex with hope but he only returned a look of, _of course not stupid._

"Ah that is fine, just take us out for a ride then. I'll only bring this bull head as decoration." Thor pulled out a rotting head of a bull. The perfect bait for the World Serpent. From where he pulled it out. I could never say. I suspected magic or godly powers.

Hymir was especially cross with that. But he readied his fishing dingy and soon we were under way. I guess even as a giant, you don't mess with Thor. It was insane how much power Thor held without using his hammer. Speaking of which,

"Uh Thor, you didn't forget your uh… You know, H-word?" I only could say so much in front of Hymir, but Thor not having his hammer was a big deal. It was the only thing that scared the giants to stay away from waging war on Asgard, the realm of the Aesir. A hammer that was apparently misplaced often. Thor cleared his through with a tone of confidence,

"While I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about, I would hold no worries Freyson. I could beat this worm with a hand tied behind my back."

Alex looked at me and signed '_We're doomed.'_

The sign for doomed was holding up your hands in the ok hand gesture and thrusting them both forward as if they exploded. It was similar to 'finished' which I would have preferred to use. Signing 'doomed' seemed more explodey. A sensation I was less willing to go through.

The last time I went fishing with Hymir, I was literally chained up to the fishing chair and it took all of my strength not to be pulled apart by the fishing line. This time however Thor was manning the pole and he didn't seem to have any concerns about bracing himself. The chains lay at the bottom of his chair and the fishing pole held with just one hand. It couldn't have been bravery. This had to be reckless stupidity. He smiled though as if he knew that today he would be successful and that he would return with a happier future.

Alex surrendered to the boredom that is inevitable with fishing. He curled up on the opposite end of the boat from Thor and Hymir. Staring out longing at where we left Boston behind. The sea rocking the boat slowly. Almost making me forget that there was a Sea goddess that wanted my head and a giant serpent that would crush us. Looking out at the sea however reminded me of my dream

"Hey Alex, there's something we should talk about while we have the chance."

"We aren't going to die out here Beantown."

"I- I hope not but-"

"You want to talk about missing the battle this morning with floor 18?"

"Well- not right now- "

"Oh, you want to talk about_ us_ right now? On this crusty fishing boat in the middle of the ocean? Where I can't get away? Is that what you think? I'll run away if you try to talk to me?"

His questions just kept overwhelming me. Making me feel like my head was about to explode. Knowing Alex, he probably would be happy to free my head from my body. I wish I could put my foot down and say how I felt. But I knew that there was something wrong going on. I had a more pressing issue,

"It's the dream I had last night. It didn't make any sense then but now, but with what's going on, it's starting to scare me."

"Oh really?" Alex's tone didn't seem to change but I could feel like he seemed to soften. He knew as well as I did that our dreams were not just the standard nightmares and nonsense. They often had prophecies and foretold events yet to come. Information that I would otherwise never had learned. With all the helpful information that I've seen while dreaming, I saved my friends countless times. But to be honest I would prefer a dreamless sleep once in a while.

I began to describe, "I was on a boat with 3 puppets. You know the story of Pinocchio, right?"

"uhm. Sort of? Something about strings and the circus? Something about donkeys, right?"

"Uh yeah. My dream was more to do with the ending. Where they all got swallowing by a whale."

Alex threw up his hands. As if it was my fault that he forgot about the whale eating everyone.

"So anyway, there were these 3 puppets. One had a blue hat with a regular nose, one had a green hat with about 4-inch-long nose, and the last one had a red hat with a nose so long he kept getting stuck in the boat."

Alex proceeded to give me the evilest of evil eyes that I have ever seen. I continued,

"T-They all were singing this weird fishing song. I can't really remember it, but it ended with the whale coming out and eating us."

But Alex seemed to forget that I was trying to tell him important information. He just looked away. I guess he was looking out to sea maybe to spot Jörmungandr, but I knew better. I knew that he was more concerned about making sure his nose wasn't 4 inches long.

"Alex, your nose is fine."

"I know its fine. How big was your nose in the dream?"

"I didn't see my nose. You can't see your own nose most of the time, Alex."

"Luck you then. Because your nose is really big right now. Like super big. Next time we get lost I'm going to use it as a landmark."

I sighed, "Well I was thinking maybe it was referencing the story. In Pinocchio, whenever he told a lie, his nose would grow just a little bit and would only go back to normal size when he told the truth. Maybe-"

"Oh, so now I'm lying to you?" Alex was becoming more defensive than a ship made of shields. I don't know what I did to make him so mad at me.

"Alex please, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."

Alex just looked out to sea again. I messed up again. It was times like this where I felt that I would never be good enough for Alex. I was just the stumbling healer of the group. Useless in a fight without Jack and just created more problems as I messed up. Sure, I able to squeak by when they needed me too but no one should be relying on my luck to save them.

Out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, it started to feel a lot colder than it should have been. Usually I was pretty good at ignoring the cold because of my innate abilities. But I couldn't shake this cold. Thor was chatting (and farting, gods if I could describe the smell without feeling sick I would) up a storm with Hymir, who just seemed content to cowering in the corner. The fishing line was slack and there didn't be any signs of anything biting.

Here I was, stuck in a boat with a Norse god, a deceiving giant, and Alex who I'm pretty sure hated me. Given that, I guess I didn't really mind when Jörmungandr came out of nowhere and swallowed our boat whole.

**Chapter 3**

Ew, Yuck, come on man, spit us out

Not to downplay Jormungandr but getting eaten wasn't really that bad. Now I'm not going to recommend it to you readers. But it was a nice change of pace. Jörmungandr came from beneath us. His mouth seemed like mountains forming all around us. The cavernous maw of Jörmungandr seemed to stretch to the sky. Just trying to understand the mind-blowing size as all around us I could barely make out what was going on was more than I could handle. As his mouth spiraled upwards, I saw splinters of giant yachts and crumpled oil rigs around his throat.

It was then that I heard Thor cry out something. He could have said anything but the sound of the rushing water overpowered Thor's maximum volume. Then Jormungandr slowly closed his mouth, the light quickly fading until only a spotlight remained and then that was gone. The smell was a horrible mix of poison and decaying rotten flesh but it didn't last as we were quickly flushed away. Literally flushed. The ocean underneath us turned into a whirlpool. Soon the boat was going faster and faster downwards in what felt like a cross between a really fun water-park and an endless free fall.

The rapids forming around the boat were pushing us around harder than a Dropkick Murphy mosh pit. I thought that I heard cursing and screaming all around me. I would probably assume that it was mostly me screaming and mostly Alex cursing but I couldn't even hear myself think. The water surging all around us I couldn't tell what direction was up or down. If there was air where we were going or just more death, I didn't know. The drop seemed to last forever with so many twists and turns. To this day I would testify under oath that I got hit by a sign that said "Welcome to Atlantis". The oars shattered, the boat groaned around me, and worst of all I couldn't see anything. I tried to focus and get my other senses to help, but I could only hear the rushing water, taste the poisonous salt water in my mouth and hold onto the boat for dear life.

I knew that it had stopped when all of a sudden, my head fell into the deck with a thud. My head hurt. I could barley pry my fingers from the vice like grip that I had on the boat. I wouldn't dare let go because I had no idea if I was upside down or not. It was a darkness that I had never experienced before. Not much light gets into the belly of the beast. It reminded me of what I heard about sensory deprivation. Floating in a pod that had no light or sound. I started to feel numb.

"Magnus? Are you there? Where are you?"

I was glad he was ok. The only thing I could do was groan in response.

"Ugh. Shut up Magnus."

Based on the lack of response from the others, I could only assume that Thor and Hymir were gone. Whether they escaped or simply fell out of the boat was up in the air. Or not in the air. Just in Jörmungandr or not in Jörmungandr. I couldn't help feeling a growing sense of despair as any chance of survival was lost without them.

I heard a nervous shifting coming from what I hoped was Alex. He was making his way towards me.

"Alright, so what's the plan Magnus?" He was trying so hard to sound upbeat.

"Why would I have a plan?" I replied, my face still hurt. I couldn't focus properly

"I don't know, you had the dream where we got eaten surely you thought of a way out."

But I didn't. Of course, I didn't. I was the failure of the group. I wasn't brought along because I was useful. I was brought along because I was apparently really good at stumbling out of causing Ragnarök. This wasn't anything new. I could hear my friends now: 'Magnus failed the group again.' 'Leave it to Magnus to mess everything up again.' After saving the world a couple of times shouldn't Magnus know better than to just assume everything will be fine?'. I felt awful. I knew that it was my all my fault. Something was really off about Thor. I should have grabbed Jack before I left my room. I should have grabbed some armor before venturing out on a quest to kill Jörmungandr. But I didn't.

"Magnus?"

How could I answer Alex? The worst feeling of all that I failed him. I got him caught up in this stupid fishing trip. I was elated that he came with us. I didn't care that he was trying to relax. Now here I was too ashamed of myself to do anything. I knew I shouldn't feel sorry for myself but what was the point? I can't heal my way out of the great world serpent. I can't do anything.

"Magnus are you there?" I could hear Alex getting worried. It didn't sound like him and I felt even worse still. What could I possibly say to make him feel better? Nobody besides Hunding knew that we were here. And Hunding would assume that we would be fine with Thor. Our floormates were probably still recovering from their battles that I forgot to wake up for. They would probably be mad at me for not showing up. They would be furious if they had to come rescue a useless chump like me.

"Magnus, I swear to the Gods if you're not there I'm going to kill you."

I managed to mumble, "I'm here." I could hear him carefully make his way over to where I was sitting. I don't know why. Why would Alex want to be closer to someone he hated so much? He should hate me.

Then I felt his hand touch mine and a feeling of electricity raced up my arm. Gripping my hand tightly Alex slowly descended to where I was laying in the boat.

"I think the boat is being held up by some wreckage.", Alex painfully moaned, he probably had his fair share of injuries but I couldn't bring myself to heal him. "I don't think we should shift the weight around too much."

"Then why did you come over here?"

"Shut up Magnus" He crossly replied, not letting go of my hand, "I've got to keep track of your dumb ass and I can't see anything. And since you seem committed to laying down and being useless, I'll think of a plan to get out of here."

"I've always been useless Alex"

Even in the dark I could feel his intense furious gaze on me. His hand gripped mine even tighter and he pulled it to his chest. I could feel like he wanted to say something else but Alex simply said "You know don't know what you're talking about. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself." But maybe he didn't know what I was talking about. Most of my achievements had been attributed to me because of my more talented and strong friends got me there. I was only present when they did the work. I didn't feel like arguing though so I just kept my mouth shut. But Alex continued.

"Why did you pick now to be depressed? Stop acting like this is the first time you messed up. It's not even that bad. But I can't get out of here with some mopey wet blanket for a friend, can I?"

I knew his words made sense. They just didn't help me feel any better.

"Magnus…" Alex asked. His voice almost tender.

It's true, this was definitely not the worst situation we'd ever been in before. In fact, I would say that it was remarkably tame compared to most. It was the first time though, that I felt completely hopeless. We both knew that there was simply no one who could help us.

"MAGNUS", Alex suddenly shouted, the boat tilting downwards towards the unknown black depths of Jörmungandr. I was felt weak from crashing against the boat the last time. My fingers slipped from the boats edge. The only thing from falling down the seemingly bottomless pit was Alex holding onto me. We were dangling off of impossibly precarious boat. Then we heard Jörmungandr calling to us.

_Let go puny Einhejar. I shall grant you a swift and painless death._

"Fat chance worm" Alex called back into the darkness, somehow it was only then that I remembered that Alex, being the son of Loki, was technically part of this worm's family.

_You disappoint me brother. I should have swallowed you slower. Let my horrible poison seep into you. _

It struck me as weirdly impressive that even a giant world encompassing snake could take the time to respect Alex's gender. But I guess Alex didn't think so kindly to the gesture. He said a few choice words that I would just feel bad repeating.

I didn't know how much longer Alex could hold on to me with all of the sea and fishing boat grime that we were both covered in. But eventually Jörmungandr seemed to level out and Alex pulled me back into the boat. We sat down at the bottom of the boat between the scrapped bait and what felt like a huge discarded fish head. I hopped that the bottom of the boat would be sticky enough that if Jörmungandr tried to tip us out we would just be glued to the boat. Alex settled pretty close to me. Which I didn't know if I minded or not. Maybe I was being selfish, thinking only about how I felt. He was clearly just as scared of being stuck here as I was.

Thankfully everything got quiet again. Maybe now that we declined the easy way out, usually more challenges would present themselves. But then again maybe not. Maybe the last challenge we had to face was starvation and solitude. Maybe I wouldn't be thankful for the silence for long.

"The air stinks in here." Alex complained. He seemed to be an unending fountain of complaints today. Which was probably a good thing in a situation like this. He still hadn't let go of my hand since we settled in the garbage. I tried letting go for just a second but Alex held tighter.

I sighed, "Alex can you let go for just a second? My hand hurts." But Alex didn't respond. He loosened his grip just a bit though. "Alex come on" I could sense his other hand was fumbling around until it found my legs and he gripped on tight.

"Fine. I'm just making sure I don't lose you. You'd probably get lost somehow" And with that Alex let go of my hand. I stretched it out a bit, wiped some of the gross boat scum off of my face and tried to get some bearing of where we were. Somehow, I found Alex's hand again and he loosened the death grip on my leg.

I just had to ask, "Are you seriously worried about losing me? Where could I go?"

Alex didn't respond right away. I thought I was just joking but maybe I was being mean, When Alex did respond he did so slowly, "I don't know what I would do if I lost you Magnus. I've never," He paused again, "known… someone like you before."

"What do you mean? Someone as stupid? Clueless? Helpless?"

"You are a world class dunce sometimes Magnus. But no. You're not stupid. You're not clueless. And you have helped me more than you could imagine. Though you probably aren't smart enough to figure out how"

Leave it to Alex to say how smart I was with the same breath he calls me stupid.

"Which I like. I like how you're just so…" Alex paused again. It was weird to hear him say more than one good thing about me. "Nice."

"Nice? I can think of plenty of people who are nice"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Alex seemed genuinely annoyed.

I shrugged as best as I could, "Not if you don't want to, I guess."

"UGHHH Magnus" He got up and I could feel him looking directly at me inches away from my face. I could smell his breath. Guava juice with some hints of mint. Reminding me of a morning that couldn't seem farther away. I thought I felt drops of water on my face, probably the sea water.

"Magnus Chase, you are one of the bravest and kindest people I have ever had the fortune to meet. I wish I could be half as patient as you are. I wish that I could be as carefree as you are. You're not worried about how people see you, how you look, the people who you hang out with. You love them all. It just all comes so easily for you. No one is looking at you like you're going to stab them in the back. They all see a summery, friendly, dork who they respect. And yes! People respect you. Of course, they do. They look to you for advice all the time and you always give great advice. People look to you as a leader most of the time because most of the time you always figure out some stupid plan that works. What else? You can talk to birds and woodland creatures. If that doesn't scream magical princess, I don't know what does."

I couldn't believe that he could say that all in one breath. I was so shocked the only thing I could say was,

"Princess?"

The familiar angry tone returned, "You got a problem with being a Princess?"

"Uh well- "

Alex laughed, "I'm joking Magnus. Well, mostly joking. You should try having a sense of humor though. This depressed Magnus bit is getting really old."

I almost laughed with him, "Alex Fierro, you are by far the weirdest person I have ever met."

Somehow, I could hear his dastardly smile when he said, "And don't you forget it"

I sighed with relief. Which really surprised me. I didn't know that I could feel relief in the belly of Jörmungandr with no way out. It was still so oppressively obvious how hopeless our situation was. But the world felt a little bright. Wait a minute it literally was getting brighter. My whole body seemed to glow with the power of summer. I could feel my head getting clearer and my aching arms and legs were slowly fixing themselves. And now that I could see Alex's face, I could see tears running down his cheeks. That's what I get for assuming that the random drops of water were coming from Jörmungandr throat or wherever we were.

Yet I had to prove that I was the dumbest person ever, "I thought you hated me."

Alex looked like he would kill me with tears in his eyes. He seemed to be holding back a flood as he said, "The only thing I hate about you is how slow you are. I know you can do better. I know you're a great guy. Do you need me to repeat that whole compliment gush-fest in ASL?"

"Would it hurt to?" I asked smiling

"I would hurt you" Alex said but laughed. I laughed too but I felt a pang of guilt about how pathetic I was,

"I'm sorry if I was scaring you."

He laughed, "As if you could scare anyone, but apology accepted Beantown. Don't' ever make me say anything I just said to you ever again."

He started to relax but then something happened. He caught himself and had this horrible look of guilt on his face, "Hey Magnus. Am I too hard on you? You know I'm only joking around when I say I'll hurt you right? You know I…" He stopped. He looked terrified.

I blinked. I wanted to say yes but a part of me also wanted to say no. they didn't seem like jokes when I was so mad at myself. If I could have just thought about what Alex was saying I knew he would never hurt me to actually hurt me. With my non response Alex seemed to understand me. "I'm so sorry Magnus."

He started to cry. I felt awful again. Why are relationships so hard? What is with my stupid permanent 16-year-old hormones and their uncontrollable emotions. Why couldn't I die when I was at least past puberty?

"Alex its ok!"

"No, it's not Magnus, you deserve so much better from me. You support me so much just by understanding me a-and I'm j-just so mean." He started crying again. Sobbing right in front of me. I wish I knew what to do. I thought what would my friends do. What would Hearth or Blitz do? How would TJ, Mallory or Halfborn fix this? How would Alex fix this?

That's when it hit me. I knew exactly what Alex would do. I held his face and kissed him.

I thought of the love that I had for Alex, all the happiness that I wanted him to understand. I wanted him to understand how much I loved him despite his flaws. I wanted him to feel loved.

It felt like an eternity (in a good way) before we finally pulled apart. Alex relaxed against my chest with his hand still holding mine. It was then I knew that we would get out, not because I had a plan, but because it felt inevitable now. There wasn't anything that we couldn't do. My heart seemed to swell as we relaxed perched in the summery light of Frey on a boat held up on what looked like a pirate ship. Not a real pirate ship but the swinging ones at the amusement parks. It reminded me of the carnivals that my mom would take me to. Our boat was somehow wedged between the steel mast and side of the ship.

The world felt like it was buzzing. Though that could be the snake grinding against the bottom of the ocean, it felt nice. It made me remember how alone we were down here. But it didn't seem like a bad thing anymore.

"We should go on a date.", I proclaimed and I don't proclaim anything that often, "If it wasn't for the poor location, this would be pretty fun. Just the two of us. Maybe I'll leave Jack again."

Alex gave me a look. One of those 'Is this guy for real' kind of look but still said, "Of course we should. We got to get out of here before that happens."

I looked him in the eye and declared, "Well we will get out of this then. It will be a showers and falafel date!"

Alex laughed "First off If we get out of here, I'm killing you as soon as we get back to the Hotel. Second off you are way too young for a shower date."

"What happened to treating me better?" I asked innocently.

Alex looked at me in the eyes. "I'm Sorry Magnus, old habits."

"I love you Alex." It just came out of me. I couldn't believe it

"I love you too Magnus." Alex sighed as if he was holding up Jörmungandr and could finally let go.

"Alex?" I tensed up all of a sudden. I felt like something was about to happen.

Alex was too elated to notice though, "Yeah Maggie?" That has to be the worst nickname I ever heard and I loved it. But the moment wouldn't last. Because it was then that we heard him.

"PERCYYYYYY JACKSON!" A voice cried out

Alex looked at me. "Was that you?" he asked,

"No, I didn't say anything."

A familiar voice cut through the air for the second time "PERCY JACKSOOOOOOOON!"

Alex and I were terrified. While we both knew Percy, we also knew that he never shouted his own name. But standing on the bow of the swinging ship. There was Percy Jackson in the belly of the beast.

**Chapter 4**

What do you know! It's a Percy Jackson cameo

Percy, camp half-blood counselor, son of the Greek god Poseidon, savior of the world more times than I would ever want to, Jackson motioned for us to get up. His sword Riptide glowing bright enough to lead the way. He was emanating an air of absolute coolness. As we climbed up the boat, it dawned on me how perfectly strange this situation was. There's the coincidence strange, there's the X-files strange but here was Percy. If someone was writing a story, this would be the perfect time for him to show up. Which made me so apprehensive I almost forgot I was wearing pajamas and bunny slippers. Slipping would have been awful but Percy came out of nowhere and caught me before I fell to far. Proving what I just said about perfect timing.

Alex could only react so fast though, "Magnus! NO- oh thanks Percy."

"Percy Jackson!" he replied like it wasn't a big deal. Which was… weird.

Percy skipped, hopped, and jumped up the ship and slowly climbed over the side. I thought he disappeared but he popped up like a whack-a-mole and waved at us to hurry up, "Percy Jackson!" he said urgently. I looked at Alex with the weariness of a fool that has been tricked too many times and he did the same. Once we reached where Percy was still feverishly waving at us, he leaped to a boat that I didn't notice was there until he was in it. I will admit, it was a lovely boat. A brand-new speed boat with three comfy looking seats and what I could've sworn was a pack of wet wipes sitting on a cooler. It was tempting but…

Alex beat me to the punch when he said, "Uh, no. I don't trust like that"

Yep. I have seen too many deals too good to be true become deadly traps. If ever there was a deadly trap, the perfect boat was one of them. This would be a decent entry for the oldest trick in the book.

"Percy Jackson!" He hissed urgently. He bounced on the seats like he was trying out a trampoline. Waving and flailing his hands as if that proved that there were no traps. He even pointed to himself with a look that said 'would I lie to you' but he what came out of his mouth was, "Percy Jackson?"

"Yes, you would lie to us" Alex stated. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who could understand Percy Jackson-ese.

Percy shrugged him off. Suddenly he pointed at the ceiling as if something was wrong. "PERCY JACKSON!" He cried. I'm ashamed to admit that, yes, we both looked up for something wrong. Ok now that had to be the oldest trick in the book. In our brief moment of distraction, Percy was suddenly behind us pushing us into the boat. Before we could react, seatbelts flew around us and tucked us in snugly to the seats. It would have been comfortable if I wasn't so terrified.

"Percy Jackson!" He announced as if he was a fairground attendant telling us to keep our hands and feet inside the ride at all times. And with that we were off. Barreling up into the unending waterfall that was Jörmungandr throat. Soon we were reaching the jaw of the beast.

"PERCY… JACKSON!" He seemed to be straining under some immeasurable weight. His hands looked like they were pulling up the world's heaviest invisible barbell. But it was working, I started to see sunlight, fresh air rushing in, and we were out! We blasted out of Jörmungandr with am audible _spitowey. _While there was no way this was the real Percy Jackson, he got us out of certain death, and I was thankful. I looked back to the maw of Jörmungandr who was barely surfaced in the ocean. His eyes were thankfully still half asleep as he sunk back into the ocean.

"Percy Jackson?" He asked us

"Yes, now we believe you." I replied. I wasn't sure if that's what he meant, but he nodded with a smug smile. In the light I started to notice things about him that would have been red flags had I seen them earlier. While most of him was as I remembered: his sun-tanned skin, his wind tousled hair and green eyes were spot on. His bare feet were beautiful, they reminded me when I met the Norse god Njord. They were free of wrinkles and blemishes. Spotless and pedicured to perfection. Percy also seemed as though he started chugging protein shakes and hitting the gym with how built he was. He turned around to look at us and I couldn't help but notice his shirt said "Camp Camp-Camp"

"Percy Jackson" He stated pointing out into the distance. I could see Boston. I could see the docks. We were really going home. Could we really get out of this hellish trip so easily?

"NOOOOOOOOOO" I heard a raw and painful cry from the docks. Percy and Alex both tensed up. I readied for something. Anything to strike. But nothing did. The sky stayed blue, and the water stayed calm. The speedboat chugged along without engine troubles and Alex was still right next to me. Percy seemed genuinely concerned though.

"Percy do you know who that was?" I asked.

"Percy Jackson," He affirmed. He took his hands off the wheel and crossed his arms. Despite this the boat seemed to go even faster. We reached the harbor to find an incredibly strange man waiting for us on the docks. I say strange because what I thought was an extremely long scroll lying around the docks was a single long white beard with Nordic runes written all over it. He was also holding a harp. He cried out to us as we approached,

"No, no, no, Magnus! You should never say something so Cliché as 'Could we really get out of this hellish trip so easily?' How can we safely resolve this now?"

I was terrified beyond comprehension but Alex was confused, "He never said anything like that though."

"Percy Jackson?" He asked inquisitively.

I felt as though I had to explain myself, "No I didn't say it out loud Percy. I was just thinking-"

Gandalf with the infinite beard cut me off though, "Listen we will have to kill someone off to relieve the dramatic tension."

Alex pulled out his golden garrote faster than I could have ever seen. "First off who do you think you are old man? Second, what are you talking about?"

"I'll introduce myself when it is the most opportune! To simply introduce myself would be a disservice to my character! Plus, Gandalf with the infinite beard was pretty good."

"Percy Jackson" Percy not Percy agreed.

"Good idea Percy! Though I had hopped to use you for a grander story! A shame!"

I must have missed what Percy not Percy meant, "Wait what are you doing to-"

Before I could say anything else, psycho father Christmas pulled out a sword and ran it through Percy.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" I screamed. Alex just blinked a couple time.

"oh, fiddlesticks you're right, I forgot to do the proper setup for the death." He took out a pen and proceeded to write on his beard muttering to himself, "Add more foreshadowing"

I ran over to Percy. I tried my best to heal him. I really did, I knew this wasn't the real Percy but he helped us out of the most hopeless situation. I owed it to him to at least try. He was holding his stomach. His teeth grinding.

"Stay with me Percy!" I cried as I tried to heal him, but for some reason the wound wouldn't heal. I could feel Percy fading away. "You can't go! You can't leave Annabeth!"

"Ooh! That's a character! I forgot about her" Psycho Santa said. He started writing furiously on his beard his hair going through so much beard it was whipping around in a flurry. When it settled, as if she was there the whole time, stood Annabeth Chase. "Yes, this will make it more dramatic!"

"Annabeth Chase!" Annabeth not Annabeth cried out to Percy as she ran to his side. Tears streaming down her face as she held Percy in her arms. Something was off with her too; her normally stormy grey eyes were now milkier white. They reminded me of when I met Frigg on the train in Norway. Her shirt also said "Camp Camp-Camp". I could've sworn the old man said something along the lines of "Copyright infringement, my shaved face."

"Percy… Jackson…" Percy mumbled

"Annabeth- _sob- _Chase!" Annabeth sobbed.

"Percy… Jackson?" Percy asked.

"Annabeth Chase!" Annabeth declared. She looked at me with confidence. I could do this. I could save Percy. I put my hands on his shoulders and tried as hard as I could to save him. Memories started rushing forward except they were just so strange. Percy Jackson swinging Riptide for the first time. Percy Jackson charging into battle wearing a Viking helmet. Percy holding up a golden shield and putting it on a pine tree. Percy falling in love with Annabeth on a Viking ship. It felt so off I had to pull back.

"ANNABETH CHASE!" Annabeth cried. Percy wasn't responding. He looked off into the distance with a smile on his face. The light behind his eyes was gone though. I shivered with dread. Even though I knew this wasn't Percy, it still bothered me so much. Not-Annabeth sobbed loudly on dead-not-Percy's chest.

"I really didn't want to see any of that." Alex whimpered.

"Yeah um same." I said.

"OH, Come on children!" Murderous Dumbledore cut in, "Magnus this is your cousins' boyfriend that just died! You can give better lines than that!"

In a flash of gold, Alex wrapped his garrote around the strange man's neck "And _you_ can give us your name now."

"ooh! Good idea! The murderous intrigue! The mystery to be solved. I love it!" He started absentmindedly writing on his beard again.

"You know what Alex I could probably live with the mystery of who this guy is."

"BRAGI!" the strange man shouted desperately. Or I thought desperately as he seemed incredibly pleased with himself.

We all paused for a few seconds. Finally, Alex spoke, "You're… Bragi?"

"Yes! Aesir god of poetry and storytelling! The long-bearded god, wearing the giant and magnificent Bread-Bragi!"

"He named his own beard after himself?", I asked

"Sounds about right" Alex replied. She unwound the garrote.

Bragi, no longer held back by the gold string around his neck kept talking, "I created these versions of your friends after hearing of their epic tales from a friend! I may have made a few adjustments to make them the son and daughter of the Aesir, Gods love it when you make it about them. Know your audience kids that's some advice that will get you really far when you write. I heard you might have needed my help when Thor barely made it back alive from his fishing trip."

"Thor made it back? How?"

"He uh- how to say this in a PG way? Went out through the other end. It injured him greatly and I'm so glad that you didn't go that way. But it sure was funny when we asked him why he smelled so bad."

"So that really was Thor? Challenging fate like that?" Alex asked

Bragi laughed, "Oh yes! He got punished for challenging fate accordingly. But now that you mention it, it was pretty out of character for Thor, and to go without his h- mmm, ah, you know what I mean. I'm sure he didn't really lose it because that already happened. Very strange indeed."

Alex seemed done, truly and utterly done, "I have too many questions and not enough time to care about it. Thank you for the rescue and your time Bragi. We can get to Valhalla from here."

Alex pulled me away before I could say anything else. I knew there was something I was forgetting about Bragi but getting away from the dead-not-Percy and the sobbing-not-Annabeth was prominent in my head.

"Wait!" Bragi called to us, "You can't just leave without letting me explain how I made Percy and Annabeth! Or what happened to Hymir! Or why Percy has such nice feet! Or how he knew where you guys were!"

"Watch me." Alex said without turning back.

"But its going to be so unsatisfactory for the readers! Think of your audience Magnus! Don't you remember the advice I just gave you?"

"I'm with Alex. Thanks" I replied, looking at Alex who looked so annoyed but pleased with himself.

"At least let me plug my username BragiBragsABunch! Its where I upload all of my epics now!" Bragi called out to us as we left. "I'm also on LiveJournal, Myspace, Tumblr…" I'm sure the list continued but I really didn't care to hear him.

Alex and I got back to Hotel Valhalla safely, he went into his room and I went to mine. If you told me there was a bloody battle in the halls that morning, I wouldn't have believed you. The halls were spotless and not a single bloody weapon to be found.

Speaking of weapons as soon as I walked into my room, I could see jack violently vibrating on nightstand where I left him. A promise I had made to him concerning Bragi suddenly came to my mind. I knew I would never hear the end of it.


End file.
